They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
