We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
