i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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