going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
