The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
