just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
