So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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