this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
