she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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