the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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