How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
