Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
