I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
