Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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