I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
