He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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