My balls are so social today.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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