It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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