you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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