apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
