Got a toothbrush?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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