Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize