Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
