"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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