Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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