go do what you do best...puke behind churches
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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