Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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