Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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