so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
