I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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