I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
either way he was missing a nipple.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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