Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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