hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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