hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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