omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
