Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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