dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
