I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
