so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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