and next time when you feel me up, do it right
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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