i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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