How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
