Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
FUCK WHALES
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
