Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's the barista slut.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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