WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
