3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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