too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
