Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
