sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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