they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How does one acquire holy water?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize