Banned from zoo.
Again?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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