first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Everclear isn't food dammit
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