The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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