Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
