I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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