Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
