im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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