Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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