How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
