i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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