just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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