I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
