The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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