Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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