I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
