You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My vagina just clenched in fear
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
