It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
