stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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