the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
