after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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